Valentina Lisitsa

Though I cant say for sure because I don't know how to read music, but I would venture to say that when people like Rachmaninoff and Liszt composed some of their pieces they included wormholes and various other time stopping techniques to actually play so unbelievably quick. (Can you really assure me that there's not some kind of alteration of physics hiding in there somewhere?) I'm just unable to comprehend any other way that mere mortals can actually perform so inhumanly fast and accurate.



Which brings me to my posting-point (aka the point of this post, aka the moral of this story, aka the reason you're here, etc etc). Its been said that there are fewer people that can play the works of Beethoven than have walked on the moon, and one of those few people is Valentina Lisista. Never have I been so seethingly envious over someone's secular talent. She is an unparalleled prodigy, a walking phenomenon, a reincarnated Chopin, a [insert hyperbole here], and AND I get the pleasure of going so see her (life permitting) next April, in Wichita of all places. Whoo doggies, I may have to go all out and rent a tux, sport a fedora, and carry a concealed weapon for this event!

Here are a few of my favorites; should you have a cup'o'tea, a pipe (tobacco, of course), a sufficiently condescending sense of culture (specifically an ostentatious appreciation of the arts), and about an hour or so, then thou shouldst listen forth!